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Friday 1in6 Online Support Group
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Kate Logan, Facilitator
8:38
Welcome to the Friday program of 1in6, Inc.’s Online Support Group (OSG) for men who have experienced childhood sexual abuse and/or sexual assault as adults. Today’s opener is from Akshay Dubey: “HEALING doesn't mean the damage never existed; it means the damage no longer controls our lives. 
~ We will start at the top of the hour!
Ground Rules for the Online Support Group (OSG):
• Participants must be at least 18 years of age, be male-identified and have had an unwanted sexual experience (i.e., childhood sexual abuse and/or adult sexual assault). Anyone who does not meet these criteria will be asked to leave immediately.
• We encourage participants to seek therapy from licenced clinicians. Please note that OSG does not replace or substitute psychological or mental health services.  
• As participants, we agree to start on time. Although we close the doors after 30 minutes, we encourage all participants to start at the top of hour as late participants can be disruptive.  
• We commit to stay for the full session – i.e., we expect participants to stay for the 90-minutes.
• We commit to confidentiality. “Who we see here, what we hear here, let it stay here.” 
• We refrain from advice-giving or asking for advice from other participants.
• We refrain from asking direct questions to others. Instead, we focus on our own experiences using “I” statements.
• Please participate! Sessions are only productive if members share and talk with one another.
• We have the right to pass. That said, we expect everyone to participate in the opening and closing round (i.e., check in and check out). 
• We expect that fellow participants and staff will be treated with respect. Abusive language will not be tolerated and those who violate this rule will be ejected for that session. 
• Please refrain from sharing unnecessarily graphic language as it may be triggering for others.
• We will be sober for the session.
• No personally identifying information is to be shared with other participants. This includes names, emails, phone numbers, etc.
• We may edit your comments via a private message (PM) to you, or delete if not appropriate if they are in violation of any of the above ground rules.
Gerard
9:01
Hello
Kate Logan, Facilitator
9:01
Hello, Gerard! Great to see you again!
I'm filling in for Rick today...
Gerard
9:02
Hello Kate
Kate Logan, Facilitator
9:02
I am hopeful that we may get a few more guys, but Fridays seem to be slow these days....
Is this the day of the week you normally attend?
Gerard
9:04
I try to always come on Fridays. I will try to make more of the Tuesday nights now. Last Tuesday was GREAT!
Kate Logan, Facilitator
9:04
That is great to here! I'm curious what stood out for you last Tuesday? It is always helpful to get feedback on what worked well...
hear*
Gerard
9:05
TRANSPARENCY!
Being able to resonate with others with shared experiences
Being able to have the references to the videos. I have watched a few more
Kate Logan, Facilitator
9:06
That is one of the most helpful things about groups -- being able to share lived experiences with others who can relate
As we are waiting for a few more, how did you find the videos that you watched?
Gerard
9:08
I wish they went a little bit further in some cases. The grounding video for example was near the end before he defined what grounding was. The dissociation video was a little better. On a humorous note...it's hard to get past the guy's hair sometimes.  He' looks like Doc from Back to the Future or that he has his hand on one of those charged silver globes. :-)
Kate Logan, Facilitator
9:09
LOL! That is funny!
Gerard
9:09
:-0
Kate Logan, Facilitator
9:10
That is helpful feedback about the videos -- I am glad you were able to watch a few....
Well, how about we do a check-in now, as I don't want to delay much longer...
How are you feeling in this moment (e.g. glad, sad, mad, anxious, calm, etc.)?
Gerard
9:13
I will watch them all. I did try some of the grounding exercises when I got triggered with sadness. I'm doing ok. I'm feeling good right now. But I have a little anxiety about the weekend. I struggle the most with dissociation, acting out on the weekends. It seems loneliness is more overwhelming then. I have also had a hard time expressing anger over a myriad of things coming out of the Oval Office and its Muskrat. I have been channeling a lot of that into writing but even with that if I start my day with news from the Oval it disturbs and frustrates me in a way that I have a hard time processing
Kate Logan, Facilitator
9:14
Thank you, Gerard! I appreciate you sharing how you are feeling.
Gerard
9:14
I was never allowed to express anger safely or even strong opinions
9:15
Emotional displays were often met with violence
9:16
I'm also career military, a career that encouraged suppression of feelings, opinions
Kate Logan, Facilitator
9:16
I hear you -- anger gets a bad rap but it is a valid emotion like all other emotions. It's how people express anger that sometimes gets them into trouble.  But, anger is a very appropriate emotion when there has been a boundary violation, standing up for your rights  or a higher cause, for instance
Gerard
9:17
Thanks Kate
Kate Logan, Facilitator
9:17
And we can have feelings about feelings -- like being afraid of anger or ashamed or feeling guilty about anger
Gerard
9:18
I need to hear anger and valid in the same sentence
Fear and afraid often are synonymous for me with the word anger
Kate Logan, Facilitator
9:18
I actually have a teaching on "anger" if you might find it helpful -- I'm also happy to chat with you or both?
Gerard
9:19
Ooooo yes! Send it
Kate Logan, Facilitator
9:19
Okay, sounds good -- I will just find my notes -- I might need a minute but then will start
And, we can pause to chat about anger as well
Gerard
9:20
ok
Kate Logan, Facilitator
9:21
Okay, here we go...
So let's begin with the purpose of anger.
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