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Setting description
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AvatarMrs Rathi
2:39
Miss Parsons
6:34
Hello
Jack and Ella
6:34
The dripping, bare trees danced as recklessly as a stormy sea crashing against a jagged rock, it was a cliff.
Miss Parsons
6:36
Hello Isabel and Ryan, look at the road and come up with more powerful adjectives to describe it.
AvatarMrs Rathi
6:37
Jack and Ella,
fantastic description on the trees! Tell me more about why the water is on the roads.
Isabel and Ryan
6:37
The cars, with blinding,bright headlights, drove quickly across the road. The creepy, abandoned building was less than a second from collapsing to the ground, and obliterating everything in its path.The gloomy,coal-black clouds creeped slowly across the smoke filled sky.
Miss Parsons
6:37
Hello Jack and Ella, does the last part of your sentence really work?  Could you describe the rock further?
Kobe and Amelia
6:40
The lapiz lazuli-blue, azure puddles shuddered like a quivering, hunted mouse. The remote, derelict house- with mouldy, condensed windows which was peering out at everyone  held everyone's hearts in a tight grip and moved everyone's brain to a thought of a haunted house.
Kris and Matilda
6:40
We really like the description Jack and Ella about the jagged rock and dancing recklessly but you could find a  better word than dripping and crashing thank you for reading.
Toby and Dani
6:40
The house with presentation was as bad as a cat pooing on the carpet, didn't move as it stood there watching cars go past.
Guest
6:40
Hello Isabel and Ryan, what is the past tense of creep?
Miss Parsons
6:42
Hi Dani and Toby, what do you mean by presentation? Are you talking about the way the car is designed. Is your simile choice appropriate?
Willow and Josh
6:42
Ella and Jack, i love your description on the trees can you just add a little more description on the cliff
kaci and Johnny
6:43
The abandoned house ,was waiting for it's next victim to scare.
Lillie and max
6:43
Dani and Toby maybe you can change pooing to something else
Peaches & Ollie
6:43
Isabel & Ryan, it looks very good and creepy all we would say is that you could change road to something better.
Caleb and Emily
6:43
The school with see through windows stood still on the soggy pavement.
Kris and Matilda
6:44
Hi Amelia and Kobe we liked your description but we think there is a tad to much in your text but 99% is amazingly good so keep up the good work bye.
Isabel and Ryan
6:45
The cars, with blinding,bright headlights, drove quickly across the old ,crumbling road. The creepy, abandoned building was less than a second from collapsing to the ground, and obliterating everything in its path.The gloomy,coal-black clouds creeped slowly across the smoke filled sky.
Willow and Josh
6:45
Wow Amelia and Kobe i love the description on the puddles amazing !! You can really picture the setting just maybe change the hunted mouse bit
kaci and Johnny
6:45
The cars with bright yellow headlamps zoomed through the empty street
Jack and Ella
6:45
The drenched, bare trees danced as recklessly as a stormy sea next to an empty, flooded road with street lamps beaming down on the reflective, murky water.
Miss Parsons
6:45
Great work Kaci and Johnny! Is the comma needed?
TJ and Arthur
6:45
Hi Ella and Jack, well done for doing a simile! But you might need more writing on it.
Toby and Dani
6:45
The house with presentation, was as bad as a cat being sick on the carpet, didn't move as it stood there watching cars go past
Ffion and Harvey
6:45
The murky, dark sky with opaque clouds silently proceeded across to his next position. By Harvey The dark leafless tree with sharp twigs swayed viciously as the dangerous stormy wind howled as it crashed against it. by Ffion
Rocky and Josie
6:46
Hi Jack and Ella maybe you could describe the trees more
summer,connor
6:46
The cars with blinding ,yellow headlamps,zoomed across the soggy ,tarmac rode what is so slippery.
Toby and Dani
6:46
to miss parsons, presentation for the house means what it looks like.
Eva and Daniel
6:46
The street lamps with flickering lights  (with 100 year old bulbs) saw a door from a near by shop open and shut but no one was there  across the street as quick as a flash the same thing happened. WAS THERE A GHOST?!
Lillie and max
6:47
Dani and Toby maybe your can describe your karpet more
Kris and Matilda
6:47
Hello Isabel and Ryan we really love your description about the cars headlamps and the clouds, but we think there might be a bit to much information and description but overall it is amazing
Miss Parsons
6:47
Hello Ffion and Harvey, great work! Think carefully about your punctuation.
6:48
Hello Toby and Dani, maybe choose a different word as it's not very clear for the reader.
6:50
Hello Summer and Connor, great sentence! Think carefully about you punctuation. Have you put your commas in the right places. Check the spelling for 'rode' and is 'what' correct?
Isabel and Ryan
6:50
The sky that was as grey as the the Iron Mans body stood calmly hardly moving in the night.
Kobe and Amelia
6:50
The lapiz lazuli-blue,  puddles shuddered like a quivering mouse. The  derelict house- with condensed windows which was peering out at everyone- held everyone's hearts in a tight grip and moved everyone's brain .
Caleb and Emily
6:50
The school with see through windows stood still as a statue on the soggy pavement .
Willow and Josh
6:50
Dani and Toby i love yours just maybe you could change the cat being sick part its a bit desterbing
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